In the era of whatsapp and other messaging tools, a question often thrown or faced by many of us – “Why don’t you reply on time?” And trust me, this very question can ruin greatest of bonds, be it romantic ones or among friends.
Before you read on, I would highly recommend to read the below twice.
Disclaimer : Tips given in this blog should NOT be applied in romantic relationships. (Possibly, because everything is fair in love and war!)
So moving on, this question has two perspectives : One, where you are the culprit and second, you being the victim. This post will try to address both the extreme situations.
Isn’t it annoying when you send a message to someone and that person simply ignores it? Not just that, sometimes the receiver even reads the message (couldn’t have been worse) but doesn’t answer back! A chain of questions like am I the only ‘free one’ on the planet? Is (s)he a President or something ? etc. do pop up your mind every now and then until you receive a reply. You end up building a Burj Khalifa of your illusionary stories as to whether (s)he is angry/upset/too-busy-to-reply.
Now in such situations, do baatein ho sakti hai. Either the receiver is genuinely ignoring you or you are unnecessarily getting impatient.
If the former happens and you know this happens too often, it’s time for you to unveil the unsaid and read the signals being transmitted from the other end. Yaar samajhdaar ko ishara kaafi hota hai.
However, if the latter happens, toh do baatein ho sakti hai.
One, you should really start practicing Patience and understand that you, too, are no President! We often set a benchmark defined as ‘time taken to reply’ (usually in seconds) as to how much we hold importance in other person’s life. Quotes like “No matter how busy a person is, if they care they will always find time for you” and blah blah is crap! It’s a reality check for us. Nobody is just lying on the ground all day with a phone and waiting for you to drop a message.
Honestly, it’s always better to pick the phone and call a person but if the other end seems unavailable, that is where the whole concept of dropping a ‘message’ comes into picture. Messages were originally sent so that the receiver reads it as and when (s)he is available. But sadly, we have made it the only form of communication today.
Second, there is something called as ‘benefit of doubt’. We must give this gift to the other person when (s)he doesn’t reply. Accept the fact that since we are not omnipresent, we really don’t know what’s happening on the other end. Yes, it might happen that the receiver has read your message (of course, you figure it out not just by blue ticks but also by the time when it was read), yet didn’t reply. There could be a number of reasons of not replying to a message instantly. Don’t you think?
The next bigger question is how to tackle the situation where you are the victim?
It is imperative to understand the importance of distinguishing people in our lives into toxic and non toxic categories. There can be few ones who are only concerned of extracting the news bits out of your life while they may not be genuinely interested in you. This category is generally defined as ‘toxic’. And being brutally honest, this very question will often be thrown at you mostly from the toxic category.
Once you identify this category of people in your life, you should decide the importance you need to give them because the ones (usually ‘non toxic’) who love and care for you, will always understand your priorities and situations. It would not take much effort to explain them the reason for not picking their call or replying to their message.
The non toxic category are people you don’t need to talk to every single day or may be weeks, but when you do, it’s as if you never stopped talking.
It’s high time we understand that we have emptied our pockets and bought Iphones or other expensive ones for our convenience and not the convenience of the caller. ‘Staying connected’ is something much above constant messaging or speaking on the phone.
Guys, let’s stop ruining the beautiful bonds in our lives over a mere ‘Why don’t you reply’ and know that with a so called ‘free message’ comes a hidden irreplaceable cost!