Indian weddings are too much! No?

The Wedding season is here and I can’t wait to pen down to what a roll coaster ride these Indian weddings can be. If you were to understand anatomy of humans, go and attend a wedding. Seriously. From gorgeously dressed bride’s mother to venue spread in acres, you are bound to notice different colours filling up the space.

To start with, as you enter the venue nervously, the very first thing you tend to look out for is Snacks! After the variety and quality checks and having done with your ‘Auditor’ duties voluntarily, you decide to settle in and be absorbed in the wedding vibes.

Now is the time for some real fun. All you have to do is choose your comfy spot and move your head very slowly from extreme left to extreme right (at a stretch of one-eighty degrees) while you witness doses of laughter and entertainment awaiting you. Let me help you with some :

Begin with degree zero or extreme left, your eyes may meet someone you know but barely talk to. I mean your PPs (Pyare Padosi) or PRs (Pyare Rishtedaar). Now that’s a real struggle. Don’t panic. Remember this is the time where you got to perform live and bring into action all that you have practiced so far. Straighten your spine, bring a bitchy look on your face and start smiling wide displaying it’s thirty-two assets. While the other hacks could be less effective, the last one surely won’t let you down. Nothing burns up PPs or PRs more than seeing you happy (Trust me, even they apply the same formula!).

Now take another leap of forty five degrees and move your head towards right. After thorough investigation of the venue and finding the perfect well-lit spot to go Click!Click!Click!, you’ll observe a group of youngsters, all suited-booted busy taking selfies and groupfies. While the motive may not be real memories but facebook memories. Alas! Sometimes I feel like walking upto them and asking if they have a bit of sympathy for all those social media ‘friends’ whose News feed they would be hijacking for next couple of hours with mushy captions like – #Abckiwedding #dance #fun and hashtags that make you feel nausea. No wonder, I might end up being selfie-d too, hence I drop the idea each time. Nothing adds more to visual miseries than watching girls dolled up, move and tilt like a pendulum to-and-fro in all possible angles to flaunt their cinderellic dresses with all possible pouts!

As you move your head furthur right, you will see indispensable guests without which no wedding is complete. Iron Women. Not literally yaar. I am talking of the ones who are too strong for Dilli ki sardi. Though it’s a real treat (bigger than the feast) to the eyes and if you are the one from Mars and not Venus, undoubtedly you too would have found your perfect spot and not willing to move your head in any other direction now! But let me warn you, it can be dangerous if you are with the women of your house – wife and daughter.

For the last forty five degrees and final leap, after much exhaustion, all you see is elderly people sitting near the heaters. The Man of the house is nowhere to be seen and the Woman of the house herself walks the ramp with snacks after frequent intervals to feed her in-laws with much love.

Well..Well.. Such are Indian weddings, the ones I have witnessed.

Having attended a wedding recently and with not-so-good arrangements, I ended up being judgemental. And I am quite certain, we all are sailing in the same boat. Hence, it’s time to bring up an important mudda here.

Ab shaadi hai, toh thoda judgmental hona toh banta hai na? Thoda comment karna toh banta hai ki arrangements kaisi thi, khana kaisa tha, paisa kitna lagaya etc etc.? Bilkul banta hai. But before we do that, let us fasten our seat belts and try to answer this – When it comes to our family weddings or when we are the ones to host, kya tab bhi banta hai? Would you be as judgemental as you are now? #Timetoponder

It’s like – Mehmaan ho, aao, khao, piyo aur jao. We must remember that we have been invited to be a part of someone’s celebration and happiness. And howsoever lavish the wedding is or is not, it’s not for us anyhow! Everyone tries to put in their best efforts, afterall. The only thing that varies is ‘Paisa’ but the extent of ‘Khushi’ is still the same!

In this era, gone are the days when so much ‘door ke rishtedaar’ were invited on weddings and where hardly you will find people genuinely happy in your happiness, we must feel grateful for being considered important enough to be a part of their happiness!

So next time you get an invite, the moment you start examining the card design and estimating it’s cost, stop yourself right there!

Write in to neha_29g@yahoo.com . Follow Connecting Self for more.

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